The Heart of a Child

 

The world is still so blurry. She knew that there are many things to learn and see. The one thing she did not realize is what her mother did see in her. I did not believe that she was a girl up until the very minute she was born and I saw for myself. Still, when she was born, there was something about her. Her daddy was the first to hold her, embrace her. A few minutes later, when she was carefully handed to me for the first time, she made a strange growling sound, as though she just wanted to be held by him. I stared at her for days. This child that came from my womb looked different than my first. On the outside, she looked like one of those angelic looking people from the paintings of Leonardo DaVinci, which was strange enough. Her mother could see the outside difference, but still there was something on the inside I could not identify. She grew fast. Her head full of dark hair quickly turned into wavy blonde hair flowing down her back at only the age of two. She grew fast for her age, and her soul did too. Things came to her easily and naturally. She was content to play by herself, but also had a mischievous side. Deep thoughts ran through her head all the time. This was natural since this was the way she had been made, never realizing she pondered on things most adults never even come to realize. Here is one of the things I want you to know, names are of great importance. Her first name, Savannah, which means large grassy plain, was just pretty to us, and did not seem to have much significance. But, we ended up nick naming her Nana, because her brother could not pronounce her name right. Nana can have two meanings: Yaweh is gracious, and vegetables or greens, which of course represents life. Her name can also be traced back to mean “favor” or “grace.” The most significant part is her middle name, Amber, which is the color that represents the Glory of God. She is never aware of any of this since she is only four years old. A name is important. It can prophecy a person’s future, it can be a literal prophetic meaning in their life. So it was with her. She often played by herself, while her brother was at school. She would come into my room, and tell me things Jesus said. See, Jesus came to see her. Since Jesus is Lord, I guess she assumes everyone sees him and talks to him regularly, not knowing that what is happening is out of the ordinary. Jesus would even feed her french fries, how funny is that? She says he is so pretty and nice. He sits and plays with her. I know, surely the Glory of God is on her life. She was singing the song she has been into lately. “I can hear the rhythm of the Lion of the Tribe Of Judah.” Over and over she sang those words, and danced to the warring music. I watched her, and realized her dance was not of her. She was moving so gracefully and doing these strange hand motions that surely she could not come up with herself. I believe she was dancing before him, lost in a different realm, worshiping him. She, this little life, was dancing before her father, the Spirit leading and guiding her steps. Oh the Glory it did bring! I know the Glory is on her very life. What will become of her? What will she do? What is she destined for? This life is not yet consumed with the world, but of heaven. It dances with her. She is in two dimensions at once. I pray that she stays there. If we can just be quiet and listen to His rhythm, could we hear it too? Could our steps be taken over like hers? How can someone so little accomplish so much. “The way to the Kingdom is that of a little child.” Can an adult really learn such life changing lessons from them? I am constantly in search of him, and she is constantly living with him, interacting with him. Why do we not see? He is here, and he is waiting. Let’s be more like her, go to him with the heart of a little child. Lets dance with him, and get lost.

Oxycontin taking over!!!

  • I saw the accident on Chapman Highway last night and it was horrifyng.  I had originally thought because of one person’s comment that it was a hit and run, but it was not apparently.  Still, it immediately made me think about the drug problem that has become so clear to me in the past few years.  I have heard around town that the drug of choice around here is often oxycontin, which is crushed and snorted and highly addictive.  I know that these people who are so hooked on this drug have to be running the roads, puttting their own lives and everyone else’s in danger.  If something does not get done about this soon, I am afraid we will see many more tradgedies to come.  It is an awful thing even to talk about, but in my opinion, it is very important.  Does anybody agree with me that the abuse of oxycontin is on the rise and becoming more and more of a problem daily?  That helpless innocent people can and will be harmed or even killed if some action isn’t taken?  I know that drugs have been around for years, but it seems to be intensifying greatly, especially in our area, crime and violence seems to be coming to the front.  I do not want this to happen at all.  These people need some kind of intervention before they kill us all.  I am prayng for a breathrough in our community.  I don’t think our kids deserve to suffer because of this.  And, worst of all, I don’t want it to get into their hands.
  • TIME Magazine says: “OxyContin is a leading treatment for chronic pain, but officials fear it may succeed crack cocaine on the streets.”
  • A very information filled site you need to see about the drug oxycontin:  http://www.oxyabusekills.com/stories.html
  • Page where 500 stories of people’s loved ones who died from oxycontin: http://www.oxyabusekills.com/victims.html
  • This IS a very serious problem that needs to be addressed now, a lot of the victims on the page shows that they weren’t even abusers, but had been prescribed the medicine for an injury, and were dead with in days.
  • How Can You Help Stem the Tide of  Deaths and Addiction to OxyContin?? 

    DEMAND  ACTION  BY  THE  FDA!

     

    In February 2005 Citizen Petition 2005P-0076 was filed with the  FDA by Barbara and Kirk Van Rooyan on behalf  of all those who have died or become addicted to OxyContin. (link to petition)

     

    The petition requests that the FDA change the indications for OxyContin to use with SEVERE pain only from documented tissue disease.  The petition also requests that OxyContin be temporarily removed from the market until it can be manufactured in an abuse resistant formulation. 

     

    The FDA may act on either or both of these requests but instead has chosen to IGNORE all requests.

     

    U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein has twice written the FDA requesting that they act upon Citizen Petition 2005P-0076.  The requests thus far have been IGNORED. (link to Feinstein letter)

     

    If a U.S. Senator or Representative from every state in the nation wrote the FDA asking for action on Citizen Petition 2005P-0076 it would be virtually impossible for the FDA to continue its silence!

     

    So, please take the following steps:

     

    1) Find your U.S. Senators’ and Representative’s phone numbers at:

     

    http://www.senate.gov/

     

    http://www.house.gov/

     

    2)  Call and ask for the name of the congressmember’s legislative aide in charge of health issues. Ask to be connected to their office.

    You will almost certainly get voicemail.

    3) Leave a message that you have important information concerning OxyContin and a Citizen Petition currently in documents management of the FDA.  Let him/her know you would like an opportunity to discuss the issue and/or e-mail or fax them a copy of the petition and other pertinent information.  Ask for a call back so that you may get e-mail and fax information.

    4) Most aides will call back, will listen and will read what you send.  HOWEVER, it is important to follow up and follow up and follow up.  Once you have the e-mail address for the legislative aide you can begin educating and asking for the senator or representative to send a letter to the FDA in support of the petition.  (you can send Feinstein’s as an example).  Send information about the Purdue plea agreement and sentencing and other pertinent articles frequently, then follow up with phone calls to see if the aide has received, read them and had a chance to discuss with the congressmember.

    It took 3 years and the final clincher of the plea agreement to bring Senator Feinstein on board but I think now that she has supported the petition other members of Congress will be easier to persuade.  But they do need to hear from YOU and have you ÅSK for their support.

    THE FDA CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE IN SILENCE AS PEOPLE CONTINUE TO DIE AND BECOME ADDICTED TO OXYCONTIN.

    We need at least one person from every state in the nation contacting Congress and asking for support for Citizen Petition 2005P-0076.

    Thank you.

    Happiness

    Happiness is not a feeling, but a choice.  Your life is your life.  No one else is living it, but you.  We can say all we want that we are not happy because of him or her, but in reality that is a BIG lie, and if we think about it we know it.  When someone hurts you, they go on about their business without a care, and you are the one miserable driving yourself crazy.  You are not hurting anybody but yourself when you hold onto anger, hurt, unforgiveness, etc.  You CAN choose to be happy, no matter your circumstance.  If you let others control the way you feel by what they do, then you are living a life that doesn’t belong to you.  You are being held in invisible chains, in the past.  God gave us free will, and people can and will hurt you, but if you will let that go, and choose to be happy anyway, God will take the most awful things that have happened to you, and turn your life into something beautiful.  See, we have free will to mess up whatever we want, but when we hand over our free will, realizing that we don’t know what’s best for us, and give it all to the one who does, he will take it and turn it into a beautiful garden.  Jesus gave up his life on his own free will so that we may be able to do the same.  That means that no longer are we obligated to respond to things the way that we naturally would, because we are no longer in control.  If we recieve his love and goodness into our lives, we become changed.  We Know Him, and know that we are deeply loved, and we walk in that love.  Before long, we no longer live by our emotions, we live by truth, the truth always sets you free.  There is only one truth, HIM, if we seek him above anything else, the best we can, our lives become transformed into the truth.  It seems complicated, but it’s not.  You are alive, he put you together in your mother’s womb, made you the way he wanted, and gave you an eternal gift that you are free to take or reject.  If you reject it, you will always have a void, a hole in the pit of your heart, never being filled no matter how you try to fill it.  If you recieve it, and learn to have a relationship with him, learn that you are a child of the most high God, and that he has a great purpose and plan for you, know that he loves you, created you to be loved by him, and him by you, your life will become meaningful, filled beyond measure with purpose, happiness, and love.  You will be one of the few who knows TRUE happiness, and your life will be great, beyond anything you could ever imagine.  Why do we so often reject the greatest gift ever given, the one we are searching for but have been so blinded by false rules and religion we don’t even see that it is such a great gift.  We often just see boring religion, a bunch of rules.  That was not the way he wants it, it’s not about rules, it’s about your heart and your willingness to hand it over to the greatest lover in this world

    A Thousand Times

    I have awoke from sleep a thousand times.

    I have put on my shoes a thousand times.

    I have been to school a thousand times.

    I have been to church a thousand times.

    I have been to the store a thousand times.

    I have smelled flowers a thousand times.

    I have done so many things in my so few years.

    But how many times have I healed the sick?

    How many times have I raised the dead?

    How many times have I stopped suicide?

    How many times have I stopped abortion?

    How many times have I been there?

    How many times have I been brave enough?

    Strong enough?

    Loving enough?

    Not nearly as much as the things I have done a thousand times.

    I can get up every morning and easily say I do the right thing.  I take care of my kids, I am a good wife.  I am a good person, but is that all I really want? 

    No, I won’t settle for that.  That’s a life of mediocrity.  Yes I do do things I should, but what about the things I am not doing?  The things that require effort, integrity, courage?

    Do those things not matter?  We are in a lost dying world, how can we settle?  We go day after day focusing on ourselves, when there is a whole other battle to fight.

    I declare in my lifetime, I will be all that I was made to be.

    I will move mountains.

    I will head the sick.

    I will raise the dead.

    I will rise up and be victorious.

    I will recieve and walk in my full inheritance that has already been given to me.

    These things I will also do…..a thousand times.

    Deep Within

    I do not live in this world. 

      I am a stranger to this land. 

    I wait patiently for the one who comes and puts joy in my heart.

       A fire churns in my belly.

    I feel the warmth on my face.

      His light is shining on me, resting on me.

    He longs to be with me, embrace me.

      No deeper intimacy could a human give, only he can love like this. 

    My heart is a deep pool, waves crashing to the rim and spilling over and running through me.

      Then out of my heart, his heart becomes known. 

    He deeply desires to consume us all, his creation, his precious little ones. 

      Oh, there is more, there is so much more. 

    More to come, more to know, more to see, more to feel, more to love. 

      His love is an unending love, it swirls everywhere, willing to come into whomever invites it. 

    His eyes wonder to and fro, searching constantly for those who will welcome his embrace. 

      Do you know of this lover? 

    He comes quietly, gently, when you least expect it. 

       So softly that you can miss it if you’re not careful. 

    His love is beyond any love you have ever known.  

      Magical. 

    He rides with the wind, blowing past your face whispering ever so softly, “Surrender your heart, and I will show you things you have never known before.” 

     His grace and his beauty is beyond measure. 

    Do you know him? 

     He longs for you, calls for you, his passion for you burns in his sharp piercing eyes. 

    His hands long to touch your face, and take you with him. 

     He waits to tell you of the kingdom inside you that is hidden so deep. 

    Walk the mountains with you. 

     Show you this place of rest. 

    This place of hiding. 

      Will you go? 

    In the deepest shadows, there is light, a light that is covered. 

      When this light is let out it shines brighter than the sun. 

    It has been hidden for a long time, but now is the time for it to come forth. 

      Destiny is calling, oh, who will answer this call? 

    How very few answer, how very few see, now is the time, who will take this walk with me?

    The Anthony House

    I just finished watching the videos of the confrontation of the woman protester and Cindy Anthony.   I don’t understand how these people think this is solving anything.  The woman had two little children with her, every other word she said was profanity.  Everyone who saw these videos are gonna question this mother for putting children into something like this.  To beat it all, the kid ends up rolling around on the ground in pain, because the mother acted like she was gonna fight Cindy and when a guy grabbed her to hold her back, she went backwards crushing her child’s arm in the car door.  Come on, people!  That was ridiculous.  I know it seems Casey is guilty.  But can we put ourselves into the parents shoes?  We can’t do this.  This is no better.  I am speechless.  No one has a right to stand outside their house condemning them for loving their flesh and blood.  I just can’t believe the anger that’s coming out of people towards the very people who are heartbroken.  These protesters did not raise either of them.  It seems to me, the Anthony family are fighting out of love, and the people protesting are fighting from sheer hate, who does this put into the wrong?  I hope people wake up and realize what they are doing.  I want the truth to come out just as much as anyone, I want Caylee to be found, I want her mother to tell the truth.  But, I have no right to judge Casey’s parents.  In my opinion, that woman should have went to jail.  What is this world coming to when people are so quick to condemn and pass judgement on others?  How can we possibly justify this?

    FAITH

    People keep trying to get me to question my faith.  I believe, no, I know that I have built my faith on the rock.  He is the rock, he is the only way, Him Himself, no other way.  We can replace it with whatever but it will turn out to be a dead end road.  He is all there is.  He is the same as he was 2,000 years ago.  The same way Peter knew him which was not by flesh and blood, but by the father showing him is still available to us today.  Even if we walked with the person in the flesh Jesus, we still might not know him.  Knowing him comes by revelation, acknowleding him, and confessing him.  If we look for him and listen to his words, he will come and live with us.  There is no end in him, he is eternal life.  I know my God, my Savior.  I know he wants great things for us, we have an inheritance available to us now, but when will we realize and reach for it?  Some never will, apparently most never will.  It is so worth it.  I adore you Jesus.  He is so awesome and mighty and powerful!  I will until I breathe my last breath seek after him, nothing man says will affect me.  Our knowledge is not his knowledge.  I follow him.  I will grasp all I can what he has for me.  The truth burns inside me, why do I let people try to tempt me into doubting?  I know the truth, when I became born again he came into me.  JESUS is what it is all about, the reason I’m here.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?  I don’t.  He is my rock, my refuge, my fortress, my God, in him and him alone I will place my trust.  My full trust about ALL things.  No matter what happens, through any fiery trial, I will trust him.  I give it all to the King of Kings. 

    Love

    Love, the greatest thing, love, the worst thing, the hardest thing, the easiest thing, the right thing, the wrong thing.  “A new commandment I give unto you that you love one another just as I have loved you”.  Why?  What is it?  Why is love packaged with so many things?  Why does it have to hurt?  Is this the hardest commandment of all?   That we love one another JUST as He has loved us.  People try so hard to get us not to love them I think.  How many opportunities do you get each day to get mad?  Or, are you like me, let things slide over and over and over keeping your cool, and then all of a sudden everythings gets so out of hand,  you just blow up?  It is like people will push every button you have, as often as they can, knowing on the inside what they are doing the whole time, claiming to love you, but it seems they are secretly seeking to destroy you.  i know, I know, it is powers, principalities, not flesh and blood.  It just gets so hard sometimes.  Do you ever feel as if people are trying to tear your family apart?  These to me, are the hardest times to love people.  I want peace.  I am tired of dealing with strife and division.  I am holding on.   I am pressing through.  I am going to keep going even though I want to give up.  I want to leave but I am staying.  Help me keep my heart right Lord.  Help me to walk in love, to love them like you.  I want more than anything to have his eyes shine out through mine, for people to be able to see his light.  But then when they really test and try you, give it all they’ve got, you start to see a very ugly side that you don’t know if you can handle.  I’m not going around this mountain for 40 years.  I am tired of being defeated, Christ is in me.  I can do all things through he who strengthens me.  If he is for me, yes, I will make it.  Love, is it a challenge to you? 

    atmosphere

    offeringWhat kind of atmosphere do we create?  I want to create a heavenly one.  I am tired of falling into gossip, I am tired of grumbling and complaining.  I want to die completely to myself.  I want to live in the spirit.  I need to renew my mind daily, and die daily.  This world has nothing for me, I am an alien.  I want to be saturated with the atmosphere of the throne.  Ephesians 2:4 says that I am seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus.  I want to experience the reality of that.  He is inside me, the kingdom of heaven is within me.  I want to bring it on earth as it is in heaven.  I will.  I want the eyes of my spirit to be enlightened, I want to be completely in His light.  I want to know him, the Hope of Glory.  I want to see the revelatory realm of heaven.  In Colosians it says to seek the things that are above.  I seek those things, I desire nothing here.  I want to live in my spirit, I want to visit heaven, I want to have encounters with Jesus.  I can go boldly before the throne of grace anytime I want because I have been seated in heavenly places with Him.  I am going deeper.  I do not have religion, religion does not exist in my world, only a relationship with him.  I don’t care what it costs anymore, I commited to that lastnight, whatever it costs, I will do it.  The mighty rushing wind is blowing my way, in Jesus name.  I want one of those hot coals, I want to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth.  I am sick of my flesh, it is just a shell.  I am not a human with a spirit, I am a spirit with a human shell.  The day that the flesh was crowned is over, Jesus paid the price, because of him, I can rightfully take back what beongs to me.  I can and I will live in the spirit.  We are only here for a little while, none of these earthly things matter, can’t take them with us.  I am gonna add to my eternity instead.  I choose you Lord, this day I choose to serve you and only you, I love you more than words can say.  I have finally found what everyone longs for, true love.  And when you come and be intimate with me, nothing in this world can compare, no physical person or thing.  I long for your intimacy, I long for you to speak to me, I long for your presence that penetrates my entire being.  I love your embrace, I love the wind that comes when we worship you.  I love you, I am in love with you, I will never turn back.  I fail you time after time, but I will never give up.  You will never leave me, nothing is too hard, you have given me the power.  You said if I abide in you, you will abide in me.  Everyday is an exciting adventure now that I have seen more of you.  But I will always want more, you are all I want, all I need.  I don’t want to do the things I need to do during the day, I just want to drown in your presence.  But you are with me all through the day in all I do.  I want the Spirit of the Lord to make his home in me, I want him to dwell there, rest his head there.  I want the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation.  I want you to share you secrets with me Lord.  I believe you, I believe your words, and I am enlightened by your words more everyday.  Your word is water to my soul, I need it more than physical water, I will dry up and die without it.  I need more of you.  I long for all of you, I want to do your will, not mine.  My knowledge is different than yours.  I need you to teach me, lead me, guide me.  Because of your amazing grace, I will do the things you desire.  I will go out, bringing the kingdom, and bringing the signs and wonders that follow.  I follow you.  I reach for you.  I want to leave an atmosphere of you everywhere I go.  When I go into a store, I believe that people will be healed and see angelic encounters without even a word just from the atmosphere of you left in that place.  I believe in all you say, all of it, and  I want your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.  I believe in the impossible.  I will bring the possibilities of heaven to earth, because you have given it to me.  I desire to do your will Lord, pour your Spirit upon me like never before, I am hungry for you.  This is my prayer, Saturate me with The atmosphere and presence of you,  so that people might know you, so that we all might know your Glory.  I love you Lord.   

    Reach With All Your Might

    What do you carry within your heart?  Love, Hate, Jealousy, Envy, Trust, Comfort, etc….

    We all carry different things.  Some of us are happy, some sad.  What are we living for?  Most people are searching for worldly things.  Fame, wealth.  But, how many of us go to bed at night with the deep empty feelings in our guts?  I used to hate that.  Now that I am not empty anymore, I am completely satisfied.  My emptiness is not filled up with  something I have created in my mind to make me feel filled with purpose, something I have to hang onto in order to believe I am here for a reason.  I am filled with certainty.  I have spent the past 8 years searching deep things.   I have went deep into places I never would have went into on my own.  My gut is filled with the REAL purpose, the only purpose.  The only love that can fill and be overfowing.  It cost a lot of time that could have been spent on education, but education means nothing to me.  I am after different things.  I am a dreamer, and I have been taken away with my dreams.  Most people will think I’m crazy, but I don’t care.  People can explain away in a heartbeat why God isn’t real.  People are caught up in logic and facts and science.  Remember Peter Pan?  Why is the heart of a child so different from the heart of an adult?  A child’s heart has not been bombarded with all our cares, all our reasons, they automatically receive and have faith just because you said so.  They cast all their cares away.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live my life the way a lot of adults do.  I want to be childlike.  I couldn’t figure out why when I was a kid I would do crazy  things without a second thought, and have a blast, and now that I’m an adult, I can’t even go down a slide at Dolly’s splash country (amusement park)  without feeling my heart is gonna explode.  When I ride in the car with my husband, I’m over in the passenger seat slamming on my imaginary brakes, whenever I ”think”  we might be fixing to crash.  Does it make sense that some of us are bigger chickens now than when we were children?  Where does the faith go?  It’s in there somewhere.  When we start to search for the deeper things, the things that matter, the things that contain truth, the unseen reality, that there is a creator  that desperately desires for us to know him, we will find out that things can be quite different.  No matter what you want in life, if you really want to live, you have to put your head up in the clouds a little bit.  If you daydream about what’s up in the clouds enough, the clouds might just come down with you.  Think a little deeper, think about the silly things, think about the impossible things more, think with your heart.  Learn how to use the deep universe inside you, and you will discover there’s truth that you can draw out from within you.  Your destiny is in there.  Your God is in there, and he wants to do the impossible in you and through you.  Believe a little, trust a little, give a little, dream a little.  Don’t be so grown-up, learn to have that childlike heart.  Grab hold of your dreams, reach for them with all your might, and you will do great and mighty things.  Don’t choose to be ordinary, choose to be extraordinary.  I am simply encouraging you to think more with your heart, and to examine what’s in it.